Session 9 - A New Psychology

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How do we mend and correct ourselves to enable us to live a good life, and for it to be pleasant and safe? Because if we don't do this, we can already see that the world is treading along toward mass unemployment, crises in family life, education, and in daily life in general. We've come to a point where our mutual insensitivity and our lack of understanding one another have become crucial.


Today the whole of humanity is like one great global human family, but one that is in a very serious condition. This is why we recommend "domestic peace" (reconciliation) made through an external factor.


When there's a problem between couples, often a professional counselor, psychologist, or therapist, talks to them in order to help reconcile a good connection between them. These days, many people regularly consult therapists, and it has become an accepted trend. Marriage counselors talk to one member of the couple, or sometimes to both of them together, and they facilitate the ability for the couple to talk between themselves. A counselor may ask questions or provide answers, but in the end, s/he assists the couple in opening up to one another and in starting to communicate again in healthy ways that include making mutual concessions, while helping them to understand themselves and the good connection they have with one another. In this way, eventually each will realize that it is best to compromise, and to not let out everything that s/he holds against the other. Thus, people learn to forgive and accept what they see as opposite, and what they maybe don't like about their partners. In this regard, there is an ancient, yet beautifully true maxim, "Love covers all transgressions."


We must understand that our "crimes" come from Nature, and that we are actually all selfish egoists who lack mutual consideration, especially when it comes to our family and with our children, in commerce, with food choices, housing choices, and in every realm of daily life. Because of this nature, we are constantly seeking for what is the best and the most safe for ourselves,in everything. If we can truly understand all that, that this is how our nature operates, we will more easily find the method to help us connect to one another.


The therapeutic psychological method says, "Let's talk to one another; let's be more open and share more; let's come to know each other better; let's learn about our nature and our characters." These same relational sensitivities should also be applied among the nations of our world. Therefore, let's not be ashamed of who we are and admit, like intelligent adults, that this is, in fact, who we really are. And then above all of this, we can build the mutual relationships between us consciously, and in a good, loving, and giving direction.


We shouldn't oppress or admonish anyone for who they are, because in truth, we all have our faults. And yet, we can conciously build connections above all of this because "Love covers all transgressions." Once we come to realize that there are transgressions inside each and every one of us, we can then make conscious efforts in concession making and gradually , out of love, we can stop seeing the transgressions altogether.


It's much like a mother's attitude toward her own child. In her eyes, her child is the most beautiful and is the best child in the world. She is incapable of finding anything wrong with him/her because she is blinded by her love, and can see only the good things and not the bad things in her child.


But if you asked her about the neighbor's child, she would tell you the exact opposite—she mostly sees the bad half and not the good half—since she has no natural love for the neighbor's child. Yet if she loved that child, too, she would see only the good in him/her, as well.


Life demonstrates these things to us. Even if we point out a characteristic or behavior that is negative in a mother's child, she will not accept it. Either she will justify her child entirely and say that the behavior is justified, or she will simply not agree that such a negative attribute exists in her child. She really cannot see it, and that's the meaning of love covering all transgressions. This is the mutual guarantee that we all need to come to with one another, and this is how we come to it.


We can achieve a mutual guarantee between us, which we must all come to, only if we begin to connect among us. We will first begin from afar, studying everything we need to learn about ourselves, but from the outset of this learning process, it will be only with the aim to build a bond of love between us, above our transgressions. Meaning from the beginning, we have to start preparing to make concessions between us, because that is the only way we will be able to unite on the emotional level, and truly feel close to one another. The world will certainly be a safer, calmer place this way. In such a state, we will no longer be afraid to let our children be out by themselves at night, because every stranger will care for them as much as we do, and we will also care for others in the same way.

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Topic

It is up to all of us to be more aware and in touch with the differences between us, and above these differences, to build a connection of love.

Main Points

  • All of us are connected like one great global human family, together found in crisis.
  • Domestic peace can be reached through assistance from a third party, like through a psychologist who uses methodologies that will help us connect.

References

"This crippling of individuals I consider the worst evil of capitalism. Our whole educational system suffers from this evil. An exaggerated competitive attitude is inculcated into the student, who is trained to worship acquisitive success as a preparation for his future career. I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by a educational system which would be oriented toward social goals. In such an economy, the means of production are owned by society itself and are utilised in a planned fashion. A planned economy, which adjusts production to the needs of the community, would distribute the work to be done among all those able to work and would guarantee a livelihood to every man, woman and child. The education of the individual, in addition to promoting his own innate abilities, would attempt to develop in him a sense of responsibility for his fellow-men in place of the glorification of power and success in our present society." (Albert Einstein, 1949, On Education)

spaceandmotion.com quotes

"In the last analysis, the current global crisis is basically a psychospiritual crisis; it reflects the level of consciousness evolution of the human species. It is, therefore, hard to imagine that it could be resolved without a radical inner transformation of humanity on a large scale and its rise to a higher level of emotional maturity and spiritual awareness."

The Current Global Crisis and the Future of Humanity: A Transpersonal Perspective

"Developing positive identities touches on some fundamental questions facing every young child: ‘Who am I?', ‘Is it OK to be who I am?' and ‘What is my place in this world?'

Answering these questions is crucial to every child's well-being, or in everyday language to ‘feeling good' and ‘being happy.'"

Article - The challenge for early childhood education and care

"But sometimes something happens that triggers a phase change. Individuals unite into a team, a movement or a nation, which is far more than the sum of its parts."

TED Talk - Jonathan Haidt: Religion, evolution, and the ecstasy of self-transcendence

Engage Yourself

Question 1: Dr. M. Scott Peck, a famous American psychiatrist, published in his book "The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace" a number of ideas touching on a connection that is important to develop between people in order to prevent destruction. The following is a quotation originally from this book's release in 1998:

"'The overall purpose of human communication is - or should be - reconciliation. It should ultimately serve to lower or remove the walls of misunderstanding which unduly separate us human beings, one from another.' Although we have developed the technology to make communication more efficient and to bring people closer together, we have failed to use it to build a true global community. Dr M. Scott Peck believes that if we are to prevent civilization* destroying itself, we must urgently rebuild on all levels, local, national and international and that is the first step to spiritual survival. In this radical and challenging book he describes how the communities work, how group action can be developed on the principles of tolerance and love, and how we can start to transform world society into a true community."

*Civilization includes a number of peoples and nations, which share between them common foundations like: culture, religion, values and sometimes common ethnicity.

Stanford University, one of the most esteemed universities in the world, established a panel of experts in October 2010 on the subject of "The Function of Compassion in Education." Many questions and topics were discussed on this panel, including how the development of altruism and compassion in educational institutions and in social systems can solve the problems of the crisis, and bring about great advantage to the life of all of us.  Here is a short quotation delivered in the symposium by Prof. James R. Doty, M.D. Neurosurgery, CCARE Director and Founder (Stanford University's Center for Compassion, Altruism Research and Education):

"The chain of causation that has resulted in ecologic catastrophe, global warming, poverty, war, these are not external events, external to ourselves. I submit to you that they are problems of the human heart. While science and technology offer great hope for many things, until this technology is focused on afflictions of the heart, I do not believe that there is hope for our species."

Please view this short interview with Dr. Doty, leading up to the symposium [link to video here, if needed.]:

Dr. Doty concludes this video clip with the following words:

"Science and technology have the ability to have a profound influence on the human landscape. But that influence can lead us to the deepest valleys of suffering, or it can lead us to the peaks of our greatest potential.  It is my belief that compassion is going to be the instrument that allows us to see the latter, and not the former. It is the key that will unlock that which separates us. It is the key that will address the issues, which we all think of as isolated issues, such as global warming, war, conflict, poverty. Fundamentally, these are not entities that are external to ourselves; these are problems of the human heart."

a. After reading the above 3 quotations and viewing the video clip, what are your reactions to these quotations in light of the state of the world as it is described in the film on the energy crisis that you viewed in the previous session? Just how much is humanity found, in your opinion, in a critical condition?

b. Which realms of life are influenced by the human relationship of a person to his fellow person?

Question 2: Has one of the crises indicated in the learning unit, touched you personally?  Indicate the answers with which you identify.

Question 3: Below is a gathering of expressions that were used  by the experts in the panel and psychiatrist Dr. Morgan Scott Peck:

"Walls of misunderstanding separating us"
"We have failed to use"
"If we want to prevent civilization from destroying itself"
"We must build anew"
"The tragedies are not events external to us"
"Problem of the human heart"

a. How much, in your opinion, do expressions like these indicate that all of humanity seems like one family that is found in a state that is not good?  Indicate from 1 – 5.
(1 – doesn't indicate at all / 5 – indicates very much)

b. Do you identify with these expressions?  Indicate on what level:

1 – don't identify at all / 5 – identify very much

Question 4: According to the text of the lesson, how do we reach domestic peace between us?

Question 5: What is the principle of the new psychological method, described in the text of the lesson?

Question 6: 
a. In this learning session, an example was given of a mother who sees only good things in her child, for she has a natural love for him/her.

Can you give an example of this from your life?   Where did you come upon a situation that you saw/heard a mother justify her child and if the child is not hers – justifies less? (If you have more than one example – you are of course invited to contribute.)

b. In your opinion, are people ready to attain a connection like this between them, like a mother who sees only the advantages in her children so that "love covers all iniquities"?

If you selected other, please specify: