Session 15 - Seeing the World through the Eyes of Another
Our whole problem is that we don't understand one another. Spouses often complain to the other spouse about being misunderstood. It's true that we don't understand our spouses, and this is because we haven't received the right education for it; we were never taught how to lead a family life.
As a male youth, for instance, I wasn't taught what it means to be a woman. Does she also have needs? Does she have a character? How is her outlook on life different from that of a man? It's a completely opposite world; a world of its own. Do I understand her? Do I want to understand her? Am I considerate of her? Am I even capable of being considerate?
Because boys don't receive any internal patterns for understanding women—how they think, how they look on life—they can't be considerate toward them, as they are toward men. They really don't understand them. The meetings between men and women are collisions; they try to live next to each other but they can't really understand one another and truly mingle with one another, and this is a big flaw in our education. We can witness it in the divorce statistics and the number of people who avoid marrying altogether.
The same problem exists in raising children. We don't know how to relate to them. We see how parents treat children, with what cruelty, at times. They don't understand them. I, too, felt how over 20 or 30 years I was just living next to my children, without understanding them. A father is an educator, a designer. He really builds the child to continue in life. I couldn't do it; I received no sense of the understanding of it. Such things as these have to be taught.
We have been evolving by chance for tens of thousands of years. That is, we didn't do anything about our evolution. Psychology, the science of human nature, man's inner world, has been around only a hundred years or so. Before that, it didn't cross our minds to learn or do something with respect to evolving. We evolved just like all the animals—by chance. It is only now that we have come to a situation where we have no other choice but to study man, society, the environment, how to design man, and what to do with our lives.
When talking about life outside the body, we don't mean to refer to anything mystical at all, but instead we are talking about the values, attitudes, and outlooks we receive from others, outside of us. I can see the world through my own eyes, and that's why I can understand you on some level. This is what we need to know and learn, how to see the world as the other sees it.
It's very hard for men to perceive the world through the eyes of a woman, but we are still a family and we have to lead a family life, or else what? Will we disappear like the dinosaurs? We must prepare the children, and we must teach them to understand the psychology of the other sex, and not just how to live, but how to enjoy life. Through this mingling together, we acquire yet another half of the world. This is how we are actually built, and this is called "life outside the body," when I acquire an addition outside my own body.×
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As children, we never received an education and understanding of what "wife," "husband," and "children" are, and how we are to raise a "family." Therefore, it is no wonder that as we mature it is difficult for us to maintain the nuclear family and to understand each other.
- For tens of thousands of years, humanity developed as an animal species unintentionally.
- To the degree that we understand the psychology of the other sex, we are integrated and acquire an additional half of the world, and we know how to enjoy life.
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